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Title 
 Blog 
Monday, 05 March 2012

Clutter is one thing but when it's not yours, it's something else.

Here's the scenario:

You were always relatively organized.  However, you had kids.  Everyday you struggled to keep pace with their toys, electronics, paperwork, clothing and the like.  Their stuff invaded your home from the moment they were born until the time they grew up and moved out.

And, finally, after all those years, they grew up and moved out.  Okay we had to deal with "Empty Nest Syndrome" but, admittedly, a piece of us was thrilled!  Yahoo!  We finally had our space back and we could again control the environment in which we lived.  Right?  Wrong.

It is said that when they move out, they never really leave.  Is that true in your household?  

Two things could have happened.  One, they moved back home again.  "There's no place like home; there's no place like home", or, two, their stuff moved back home again.  How did this happen?  You were just getting used to having your own space and the calm that comes with it.

In the first scenario, your kids were so anxious to get out in the world and be in charge of their own destiny.  (The grass is always greener on the other side, right?)  Instead what happens is they find out they can't afford to make it on their own.  This is more common than not these days due to our economy.  So they move back home and bring all their stuff with them.  (Probably more than what they left with!) 

The second scenario is that your kids do move out but cannot afford a large enough space to hold all their stuff.  So they turn to you and say,  "Mom, can you hold onto a few things for me because I have no place to put them?"  How many of us have heard that question? 

Now what do we do?  We want to help out our kids but still want to maintain the balance in our lives that we were finally able to obtain.

I have one word of advice - "BOUNDARIES".  You need to set limits on the space that your returning kids can occupy and the stuff that comes with them.  They cannot bring it all back and then some.  Just like before, it is a shared space, but this time, they are adults and need to respect your boundaries.

You need to set boundaries on the amount of stuff you are holding onto for your kids who now reside in their own home.  They need to learn to live within the space that they have and make choices.  You have to and so do they.  Remember, your home is not a storage unit! 

Whether your kids are returning home to live or using your home to store their items, you need to sit down and talk with them about those boundaries and have them understand that they must be respected.  

Spring is a great time of year to evaluate your current living situation.  To me, it represents growth and change.  It's time to make a change and claim your boundaries. 

Until next time...

Posted by: Audrey Cupo AT 08:30 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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